Happy Valentine's Day

It is time once again to celebrate that most obnoxious and onerous of holidays. Who was Saint Valentine, anyway? What did he do to become a saint? I'm pretty sure it didn't involve buying greeting cards and sending flowers. He probably never had to buy a date a fancy dinner, only to go home alone and masturbate, either. But his day has inspired some truly bitter (and honest) humor. Cracked.com has saved you the trouble of shopping for a card, and make sure to check out these candy hearts.