news: August 2008 Archives

A nation of Married With Children fans is in mourning today upon learning that the breasts that helped launch the Fox Network are no longer attached to their owner, Christina Applegate.  Applegate, who starred in the long-running Fox sitcom, was the closest thing to free porn in the days before the Internet, and pioneered the method for launching small television networks by turning cleavage into ratings, which was later successfully copied by other Hollywood hopefuls, such as The WB's Nikki Cox.

Come on folks, I can't make this stuff up. My question is where is the outrage from PETA? My heart goes out to the poor donkey who was not only having to carry two passengers (in direct violation of OSHA regulations) but was then subjected to an attack from a vicious predator. Why was this woman carrying a machete anyway? The headline should have been: Two Asses Riding An Ass Eaten By Lion.