The Pope had just finished a tour of the Napa Valley and was taking a limousine to San Francisco. Having never driven a limo, he asks the chauffeur if he can drive for a while. Well, the chauffeur doesn't have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel.

The Pope proceeds down Silverado, and starts accelerating to see what the limo can do. He gets to about 90 mph, and suddenly he sees the red & blue lights of a CHiP in his mirror. He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. The trooper, seeing who it is, says, "Just a moment please, I need to call in."

The trooper calls in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief that he's got a *really* important person pulled over, and asks how to handle it.

"It's not Ted Kennedy again is it?" asks the chief.

"No sir!" replies the trooper, "This guy's more important."

"Is it the Governor?"

"No! Even more important!"

"Is it the President???"

"No sir! Even *more* important!"

"Well, WHO THE HECK IS IT?" screams the chief.

"I don't know sir," replies the trooper, "but he's got the Pope as his chauffeur."

A desperate young mother had two incorrigible boys. Having exhausted all suggestions for controlling the little hellions, she tried one last approach: she took them to the meanest preacher in town for a lecture.

First the older boy was admitted into the stern minister's study.

Glaring at the boy from behind the desk, the preacher waited a few moments, then challenged the boy: "Young man, where is God?"

The boy was stunned to silence.

The preacher rose part way out of his chair and repeated the question: "I asked you, Where Is God?"

The boy began to quake with dread -- this was no ordinary lecture for being bad!

Stepping around from behind the desk, the impassioned preacher now shouted his question, "WHERE IS GOD!?"

At this, the boy leaped from his chair and bolted out the door, running headlong into his little brother.

"What's wrong? What's the matter?" his brother asked.

"It's awful! The church has LOST GOD and they're BLAMING US!"